Summer’s over and so there’s no longer any excuse for neglecting this blog (not that a good one ever existed). I shouldn’t be surprised that ads for writer’s workshops and blog design websites are stalking my social media channels. Since algorithms are now more efficient at brain-washing us into purchasing new shit we don’t need, I guess I could cave to them and get back to writing.
Lately I’ve been thinking about this idea of consistency and why it’s so f*cking difficult to stay consistent. Self-discipline comes easier with food and exercise – even meditation isn’t as challenging (which is hard AF by the way) as writing every single day. WHY is it so incredibly difficult to force myself to do this one thing that would actually improve my dream-job-maybe-career situation.
Because I care about it, duh. A lot. Like all things we care about, we tend to get obsessive about them. Sometimes, I make excuses not to write…prioritzing bullshit over my content. Things like buying milk at 3:30 in the afternoon, going to Target to walk around for 45 minutes without buying anything, or having existential meltdowns in a parking lot for no reason. Then I get the added benefit of hating myself and becoming more depressed that I was totally unproductive for no reason. Jamie Varon did an awesome piece about this perfectionist tendency that sparked a lot of deeper thought.
I get so wrapped up in getting it right or making it good enough that my project loses all authenticity and any recognizable hints of me within it. I equate the size of my audience with how worthwhile my content is. I became so obsessed with whether or not people will read my blog that I stop writing altogether, for fear of being rejected or of my work forever going unnoticed.
What I’ve been neglecting to consider the past few months is that without consistency, there is nothing to rely on, and no following to build because there’s nothing to follow.
One of my favorite blogs, Broadly, a branch of Vice, has an Astro Guide section and on the first of every month, it has a forecast for each zodiac sign. Also, I don’t give a f*ck if you think horoscopes aren’t real or are unreliable, the posts are awesome. My point is – I religiously visit Broadly every single month because the horoscopes are always hilarious and detailed. If B erratically published forecasts or missed every couple of months, I would lose interest.
Basically, I realized there’s no better time than now to get back on the wagon. I don’t have to have incredibly artistic or sexy Instagram-worthy photos in order to publish a post. It can just be what it is and I can learn to be okay with that as I evolve as a writer.